[Resolved][Ubuntu] Steam fails to do anything useful after selfupdating.

[Code Hunter]

I'm using spare hardware to just test the Gmod linux bins, so the specks are crap:
Server OS: Ubuntu Server 10.04 LTS, clean install +openssh-server
Processor: 0.9 GHz AMD Duron, single core, no hyperthreading
Ram: 0.75 GB
Game(s): Any and all
Start Up Command: ./steam or ./steam -command update -game "Counter-Strike Source" -dir .
Admin Mods: I havn't even got to that yet.

Code:

user@UbuntuServer:~$ ./steam
Checking bootstrapper version ...
Getting version 36 of Steam HLDS Update Tool
Downloading. . . . . . . . . . . .
Steam Linux Client updated, please retry the command
user@UbuntuServer:~$ ./steam
Checking bootstrapper version ...
removing stale semaphore last operated on by process 988 with name 0eBlobRegistryMutex_AEBA00D7DD668FCCF7A2D2CA65E3758D
removing stale semaphore last operated on by process 988 with name 0eBlobRegistrySignal_AEBA00D7DD668FCCF7A2D2CA65E3758D
Getting version 36 of Steam HLDS Update Tool
Illegal instruction
user@UbuntuServer:~$ ./steam -command update -game "Counter-Strike Source" -dir .
Checking bootstrapper version ...
removing stale semaphore last operated on by process 1168 with name 0eBlobRegistryMutex_AEBA00D7DD668FCCF7A2D2CA65E3758D
removing stale semaphore last operated on by process 1168 with name 0eBlobRegistrySignal_AEBA00D7DD668FCCF7A2D2CA65E3758D
Getting version 36 of Steam HLDS Update Tool
Illegal instruction

Did I forget to install something, Valve's fault (bad steam bin), or is it just the box I'm using?
Edit: It's just the PC I'm trying to use. It's crap after all. It works fine under VMware or what ever virtual PC program that boot linux.